


Tired.

by Punklynx



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Awkward Hinata Hajime, Depression, Disassociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hero Complex, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Hurt No Comfort, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko Swears, Out of Character, Out of Character Hinata Hajime, did, hajime has did, out of character izuru kamakura, sorry - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punklynx/pseuds/Punklynx
Summary: A vent fic, I haven’t been doing well recently, and this came out. Enjoy. It’s basically Izuru taking over and dealing with the fact everyone loathes him, and hajime falling behind with work, just a vent fic, might upload a follow up where they’re doing better :)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Tired.

AN: this is a vent fic, sorry if it’s a bit ooc I haven’t been doing well as of late, so here’s my brain worms :)

  
  


Izuru sat staring blankly at the table in front of them. Their neck felt cold, it was a new feeling since hajime had cut his( their ) hair. He was looking back at a concerned fuyuhiko, who looked visibly disturbed.

Izuru didn’t know what to make of the scene. Of course they knew they were free from the simulation, they had fronted once or twice, but not in front of anyone.

Trips to the fridge to get hajime something to eat when his body refused to move. Brushing out their incredibly long hair while they still had it, brushing teeth, etc. but now. He was looking at Sonia, and Fuyuhiko, who looked concerned and confused. 

“Hajime?” Sonia asked timidly, he simply blinked. “Are you alright?” That’s when Izuru noticed how wet and tacky his cheeks felt. 

He wiped his face with his palm, feeling the tears pool. He flicked them towards the floor. “I’m not sure how hajime is feeling, but i assume not well.” 

“Kamakura?” She asked softly, fuyuhiko’s expression turned sour and bitter.

“Yes. Hajime isn’t here at the moment, my apologies.” He said blankly, feeling nothing. 

“Tsh.” Fuyuhiko said, pushing out his chair and walking away, “fuck it I’m outta here.” He mumbled angrily walking away. 

“Sonia, would you mind informing me on what’s happening?”

She looked at him, unsure of how to proceed. “Well, Fuyuhiko and i were talking to hajime about how he was feeling and coping, and he.. shut down and..” she gestured towards him. 

Izuru nodded, expression blank, feeling nothing. “Alright, thank you. I understand my presence bothers all of you, I shall be going.” He said, standing up, scooting in his chair in a streaming fashion that was so smooth it felt manufactured. 

They walked away, not looking at the mournful expression Sonia wore. Walking out of the kitchen, into their room they shared with hajime. ‘ _ I know they hate me but, I don’t really care I guess. It’s all so boring. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I’m bored _ .’ They thought with agitation, sitting down on the full sized bed. Laying down on their back and staring at the ceiling. 

Hajime eventually came around, Izuru still felt grey. Just grey. Nothing mattered. It was all dull and boring. Nobody cared for them in a way that mattered. Nothing mattered. It didn’t bother them, they felt nothing. They should’ve felt angry, sad, irritated, but nothing. No gut feeling, no watery eyes, nothing. Professionalism, but it wasn’t necessarily an emotion. 

While hajime did come around, he wasn’t alright. Not enough to front. So Izuru would. They stayed in the same clothes, it didn’t matter, nothing did. Combed their hair once maybe, only went out to eat at night when no-one else was around. It didn’t matter, he didn’t want to be around anyone, they were boring. Unnecessary confrontation wasn’t fun. It was boring. Like everything else. 

Days of this went on. Eventually hajime was back in full swing. Not a single person asked how Izuru was doing. 

He didn’t mind. 

Hajime was really going through it, mind a mess. Thoughts of Chiaki, Nagito, everyone else he lost. Mourning, fear, anxiety, so many feelings, and each every one of them too overwhelming. He couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t. It was too much all at once. Sonia and fuyuhiko asked how he was doing, he couldn’t answer.

Days went by, and when he came back to, he felt disgusting. His mind felt better, still miserable but no longer disassociated. He showered, brushed his teeth, hair, changed. Beforehand it all felt greasy, smelly, unchanged and unbothered. He felt bad for Izuru, having no drive to do absolutely anything because they could if they wanted to, but just didn’t. 

He knew the feeling all too well, but he was glad he could at least have a small break to just… Not exist for awhile. He sighed, stepping out of his room, feeling like a new man. 

Hajime wandered into the kitchen, feeling sleep still clinging to his eyelids. He grabbed a cup of orange juice, and started on making some toast when he noticed fuyuhiko. He waved sleepily, to a pissed off fuyuhiko. His face changed into that of disgust and anger.

Hajime looked at his bread, and back to fuyuhiko, too sleepy to emote properly. “Listen here you little shit! You don’t get to just take away my best friend and then stow away for two weeks and ignore us! What the hell is going on kamakura?!” He shouted, hands curled into fists. 

Hajime blinked at him in surprise, “I-it’s been two weeks?” He said, shoulders tensing, swallowing back his fear. ‘ _ Do they all hate Izuru that much?’  _ He wondered and was cut off

“Yes it’s been two weeks! And- oh.” He dropped mid sentence, and relaxed immediately. “Hajime?”

“Y-yeah.” 

“Dude. What the hell happened?”

“I-I don’t really know, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t know isn’t an explanation! You disappeared and left us with that fuckin psycho for two weeks!”

“Yeah.. I don’t know I’m, I’m sorry. I haven’t been feeling well, I guess I disassociated, and Izuru took over for a bit.” He said, looking at his feet, avoiding eye contact. Guilt burned in his stomach. 

Fuyuhiko sighed, “I guess it’s whatever now but. I’m just glad you’re better now. Sorry for almost swinging on you.” He said, rubbing his right arm that still tingled with tension. 

Hajime shrugged, “it’s whatever.” he said, popping his toast out of the toaster. “How is everyone?”

“Not good. We’re falling apart without you idiot.” He said lightheartedly, but his words felt heavy. 

Hajime’s mind was swimming with the amount of work he knew he was going to have to catch up on. He sighed, shoulders slouching. “Alright. Can you let everyone know I’m back? I don’t really wanna get yelled at again.” He said with a slight chuckle. 

Fuyuhiko walked away, hajime finished his toast, snacking quickly before heading to his room to start picking it up. ‘ _ Maybe this is a new start for me, looking towards the future.’  _ He said, trying to be optimistic. 

He found a notebook, titled, ‘Izuru Kamakura.’ In neat spaced handwriting. It felt like almost an invasion of privacy but… he wanted to know what he missed out on. 

A few pages in in tiny, almost too small to read handwriting read, ‘empty. empty. empty. empty.’ Over and over again. He felt sorrow for Izuru. Being the best at absolutely everything would leave anyone depressed. No goals to work towards, nothing to look forward to, nothing new to find, or see, or enjoy. 

He knew how it felt, to feel nothing, to feel pointless, to feel empty and numb. He sighed, closing the notebook, and tucking it away in a drawer. Hajime stretched, feeling heavy and tired, emotionally drained. 

He scruffed out his hair, and tucked in for a small nap. Feeling guilty, knowing he had so much left to do now that he was back, but his body refused to let him move an inch. Eventually he fell into a fitful and nightmarish nap. 

Fear and anxiety consumed his dreams, like normal, and when he awoke he felt more tired than when he went down. He sighed, sitting up, staring at his ceiling, finding the motivation to get up. 

Eventually he found it, he worked himself to death until his hands felt numb from how much paperwork he had to sign and fill out. How many phone calls he had to make, how many copies and papers he had to write. Things that he had to fix around the island. 

Exhausted, tired, overwhelmed, he went back to bed. 

A hero complex to say the least. 


End file.
